[ Basingstoke - 01 Apr 2005 ]
Eridani Star System
recently commissioned a bogon scan of the Earth for the spam fallout hotspots.
This satellite photograph represents the results of this scan showing where
these hotspots are. The fallout hotspots are where the effects of spam are at
their highest amongst computer users.
Apparently, the darker areas of land mass are where the spammers have not
penetrated to such an extent, and where their actions have not made a strong
This scan has been made possible due to new advances in radiation and
subatomic particle detection. What we have searched for in our scan are the high
density of bogons emitted by the delivery and processing of spam. However this
is not perfect, as the image also shows the background bogon radiation from
the entire land mass of the Earth (although ordinarily undesirable, it does
help to show up the land mass shapes of areas less affected). Despite this, it is still very evident
where the highest densities of bogons are being created.
The study of bogon emissions is a very new field, and is therefore not
as accurate as, for example, the emission of photon particles. The results,
however, are very promising although there is still much research that has yet
to be carried out.
The link with bogon radiation and spam was first hypothesised when
unusually high levels were detected in the regions of Boca Raton, FL, Redmond,
WA and Dulles, VA. This was closely followed by most of South Korea and parts
of Latin America.
Much of what this scan shows has long been known by internet watchers the
world over. However, this is the first time a global survey has been carried
out and it confirms what was previously estimated. Unfortunately current
technology forbids us from scanning the world for the spammers themselves,
although this is actively being worked on.
OK, we were joking. Click here to see what we really do.